I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
