I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
