I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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