They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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