How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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