Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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