if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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