you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
