quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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