Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
