please come you make the beer taste better
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
