there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
