My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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