$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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