I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
