So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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