My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize