you guys were way drunker than both of me
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
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Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
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No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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