There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
