I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
