She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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