Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
