Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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