So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
