Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.