Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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