ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
