I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
