I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
