dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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