I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
