i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
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There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
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I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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