So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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