There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think your dad took our porno
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
