There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
