K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
