we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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