what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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