I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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