did you get engaged???
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
