It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
