kristin has been a bad kristin
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
the liver wants what the liver wants
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
