i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
