tonight lets celebrate not being married
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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