i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
