ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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