ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
