yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
