She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
