Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
