Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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