i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
