I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
