I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
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If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
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My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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