Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
