i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
