so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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