btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
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Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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