Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
