I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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