Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Sober January is a disaster.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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