i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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