Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
