My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize