Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
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I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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