There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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