I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I still have a little drunk in my system
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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