He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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