dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
vagina is talking i cant
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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